Day 4

What was your best and worst job?

Okay. Worst Job.  Definitley babysitting these two little girls my junior year of highschool.  I watched them every Tuesday and Thursday starting at four, until the mom came home, which was such a fluctuary time, I was always frustrated.  The girls were not well behaved, they didn't listen, and they were snots.  I had to keep them in the basement, quiet, clean, and we were not allowed to watch TV.  The parents never left a snack or dinner for the girls, and sometimes would not come home until almost 9, leaving me to deal with the 'I'm hungry!" the whole night.  I hated that job.  It did not pay well enough for the bullshit I did.

On the other hand, my best job was my first real job.  Oberweis.  I loved it 98% of the time.  I loved being able to go there, and get away from everyone for a few hours.  I liked throwing myself into work if I was having a bad day.  I loved the people- more than a few of them know my life story, and I know theirs.  I made such good friends from there, and I still talk to a lot of them. I'm more than a little excited to go back to work over my winter break.  I need the money, and I'll need something to do after my friends abandon me.

I forgot this:

I'm in love with this website:

http://www.letterstocrushes.com/

They make me sad. but in a good way.

This one is easy:

Remember when I talked about my nonnegotiable? This is someone who can word it a lot better than I ever could. And I like that. I like the way this girl thinks.

I hope this happens. It would be a nice change of pace.

Random but Thoughtfull

I've been working on this one lately.

I feel like everyone's felt like this atleast once.

Real Talk.

I wish it was this easy.

I'm a liar because I don't tell you everything.

I'm a whore because I like boys.

I'm weird because I'm not like you.

I have to tell myself this every. damn. day.

I talk myself out of this type of behavior every. damn. day.

I try. I try really hard.

Day Three:

Crap. I went out last night. and I didn't go to class today. So...this is going to be interesting.

What is true love?

Real talk: I wish I knew. I really don't.  I can't say I've ever been in love.  I'm not the person to ask here.  I can tell you all sorts of things about messed up relationships, and cheaters, and liars, and shady shady people.  But not a lot about love.

I guess if I had to say anything it would be this:
True love is when someone has all of your nonnegotiables.

Like, I really want/need someone who's funny as hell. and appreciates my horrid singing. and lets me eat as much as I want, because I'm a hungry girl.  I would love if someone could love me for the weirdo that I am.  So I would have to guess that that's true love. 

I wish that I could tell you better- but I can't. Because I guess when I said my one wish would be to continue being lucky, I didn't realize that I haven't been lucky enough to be in love yet.

So thats day 3.  See you tomorrow.

Day Two:

What is your favorite season and why?
My favorite season is summer. For all the cliche' reasons and others too.

 
Yes, I love having no school. and I love having freedom. But I kindof get that all the time at college now. I essentailly choose when I have school these days. So that's not really important to me anymore.

But really, what I love about summer is the feelings. In summertime, everything is carefree, and easy.  My biggest problem is usually fitting in a shower between pool all day and work or party at night.  I get to spend my time how I want to, and with the people I want to.

I'm always cold, from November to March. It sucks. I love the hot weather.  I would much rather it be ninety degrees and hotter than hell, then be freezing and in eight layers. 

I love summer clothes.  Nothing makes me happier than a cute sundress and flipflops, or my cutoff denim shorts.  Their comfortable as hell, and look cute too.

Lastly, my favorite thing about summer is the smell.  I love laying on my pool deck, and smelling the fresh cut grass, and the cholorine of the pool, and my sunscreen, and just knowing that right there, in that one moment, I can be perfectly happy. Its that one moment that makes me think maybe everything will be okay, and makes me have faith that my life won't always be in shambles.  It's that one, singular moment of perfection that makes me have hope.  Hope for another moment like that, where maybe it's winter. or spring. or even fall, which I detest.  Hope that maybe, just maybe, one day I'll love another season because of my associations with the moments from then.

Be ready for tomorrow. I am. Its a doozy as my grandma would say.

It's been forever...

...I have no excuse besides getting swept up in the college life. Like, really, it's just been busy. and amazing. and so much fun. and so much work. and as always, there's a little drama too. (it's a small school, what can you expect?) but here's this new thing: a twenty day challenge. Every day, I'll answer the question for the day, and blog it. (for no one to read, since no one does)
1. If you could wish for anything that would come true right now, what would it be?

2. What’s your favorite season, and why?

3. What is true love?

4. What is the best and worst jobs you have ever had?

5. What is your phobia/fear?

6. Have you ever had your heart broken? Have you ever broken a heart?

7. What is something you’re addicted to?

8. What do you like the most about yourself?

9. Are you a lover or a fighter?

10. What would you say your biggest fear is when it comes to relationships?

11. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would you change and why?

12. What are features you get complimented on a lot?

13. What is your favorite sport?

14. Write a letter to someone important in your life.

15. Whom do you admire the most?

16. What are 10 goals in your life?

17. What gives you sincere happiness?

18. What are the 10 most significant memories in your life?

19. When were the happiest days in your life?

20. If you died tomorrow, what’s one thing you’d regret not doing?

Day 1: If you could wish for anything to come true right now, what would it be?

I guess if I could wish for anything it would be this:
to continue to be as lucky as I am.  I fully realize how blessed I am, and how fortunate I am.  I have such amazing people in my life, who care about me, and love me, and take care of me, and accept me as the weirdo that I am.  I'm lucky to get to attend such an amazing school, and to have made such good friends. I'm lucky to have such an amazing family. I'm lucky to be lucky. And I realize that. 

That's day one. We'll see if I can handle this.