I want to punch you in the face.

Yes, you.  and you. oh yeah, you too. Basically, everyone..

Today's just one of those days where everyone sucks, and everyone's annoying.

One of those, god could anything else go wrong, oh wait, it just did days.

It started this morning when I had to take a semi-cold shower.  I hate that. It drives me CRAZY. Like, I pay 33,000 dollars and some change a year to come to this school, the least they could do is invest in a fucking water heater strong enough to handle the 300 people living in my dorm showering in the morning.

Then, I had public speaking, which was fine, if not a little boring.  I just can't motivate myself into actually caring about "analyzing the audience".  Next, was Professor Zhu, who is adorable, but has a heavy Chinese accent, and while that isn't usually a problem, when he's teaching about the French Revolution it is.  I really am just starting to hate that class, simply because I can't understand a single french word that he's trying to say.  We just need to move on to the English politics unit.

Then I had a nice little afternoon rest....LOLJK I had to do the dumbass cemetary project for Psych, which, PS had nothing to do with what we're learning in class.  Then, I went to Psych, and had to sit in the hot, sweaty room, while on allergy meds, and try and force myself to stay awake.  Not good. After that, I walked up the hill to Keane to cash my checks at the buisness office....which closes at three. It took everything I had not to just sit down and cry. Seriously.

And now, all I want to do is watch Gossip Girl and 90210, and my CW tv channel looks like something out of the TwighlightZone, so I can just barley make out the shapes and colors of things, and can hear, so I'm rolling with that for the time being.  But that sucks too.

So that's my recount of my suckyass day.  I hope y'all enjoyed it.  Actually, I really could care less if you did or not, or if someone reads this or not.

Hi, my name is Kelly, and I'm a traitor.

Okay. I admit it.  I love Taylor Swift (in case everyone wasn't aware yet). but...I also love Kayne West.

They're both super talented.  They're both artists who write their own material (I always like them more).  They're both theatrical.  They're both hugley popular. 

Oh yeah, and one "screwed" the other last year.  But lets be real: Kayne totally made T.Swift more popular, because everyone felt bad for her. 

I'm not a Kayne apologist though.  He definitley pulled a dick move on my idol Taylor, but that doesn't mean that he's not talented.  Really, he's a talented asshole.  And he totally called himself on it tonight.   "Lets hear it for the douchebags/ Lets have a toast for the assholes" RESPECT.  He called himself out.  That takes balls. And it also takes  a big man to admit his mistakes, and fully apologize, which he did.

That's not to say Swift didn't get to get in her own little dig as well  "32 and you're still growing up"  Thata Girl ;)

Basically, I love both of them.  I'm a traitor, and proud of it. 

"wonder why we bother with love, if it never lasts"

That quote has nothing to do with what I'm going to blog about, I just really love it, and I really love Tayor Swift.

I don't really have any brillant thoughts to share with the world today (although, I guess really only Taylor and Jessica read this, so sorry guys, nothing interesting here).  It's just Sunday.  Sunday's are and always have been blah.

In highschool, Sunday was homework day, and take a break from the world day.  Even me and my bestfriend would agree not to do anything, atleast until Sunday night, because sometimes, you need a little break from each other, before you cut off someone's head.  Sunday's meant not getting dressed, laying in bed or on the couch, and probably attempting some homework.

Today so far, I've been woken up by the loud girls outside of Katherine and Katie's window, changed, eaten breakfest, and checked my facebook.  I guess not that much has changed. 

I should probably go do homework now.  The VMA's are on tonight, so that means I'm going to have to get my shit together before that.  ughhh.  Although, Taylor Swift AND Kayne are performing, so that motivates me to be done with work, so I can watch :)

Peace out bloggers, I'll talk to you soon.

(Wow...I'm really lame. Whatever, like I said, no one reads this :))

So I have a question...

(no its not "do you wanna have a slumber party in my basement)

When does the awkward getting to know you crap end at college? When will I not have to introduce myself with my first and last name, and where I'm from, and what I want to do with my life, and oh yeah, something "interesting" about me too.  I've run out of interesting facts.  My go-to fact (I just turned 18 yesterday/two days ago) expired about...two weeks ago.  I'm not an interesting person, Loras, so please stop asking me to know whats cool about myself.

I'm really ready to just know who my friends are, and who I can trust, and am so ready to get over the awkward "hey, what are you doing?" "nothing what are you doing" "nothing" chitchat that's so common on my floor.  Like, really, ask me something interesting, like, where I got my glee t-shirt from, or tell me about how you can always hear my music.  Something. Anything. Anything besides, where are you from again?

Oh yeah, and if one more fucking person calls me Molly, I'm going to cut a bitch. Appearantly, theres someone at my college who I look just like/looks just like me, and multiple people (we're going on like, twelve now) have come up to me in the last two weeks asking "Molly" how her summer was, and ohmigod you look so good!   I swear, if I have to do the awkward "I don't know who you're looking for, but I'm Kelly, I'm a freshmen" one more time, I'm going to vomit all over the cafe.  Molly whoever you are at Loras, watch your back, because Kelly-not-Molly is coming for you. 

Okay, this turned out sounding a lot bitchier than I wanted it to... the main point is, lets get over the introduction phase, and get down to the nitty gritty of getting to know each other.  I like it better that way.

Dear Chris Martin...

Dear Chris Martin...

I'm in love with you. Your music inspires me to no end. Seriously, ditch Gwenth and come marry me, and write me beautiful music. I know that you don''t really believe in marrying 18 year olds, and you already have your two crazy named children, but I would even take them on if you would write me just. one. song.

Love, Kelly

Okay, in all seriousness, music will always inspire me. Chris Martin/Coldplay is just a regular on every playlist I make. Like a common denominator in math, spray tans on Jersey Shore, and butter in a Paula Dean recipe, I need them to work. They're music may come off as about nothing, but when you actually listen to the lyrics, its about life. "Fix You" defiinitley speaks to my need to want to make everything better for everyone, and I'd be lying if I said "Lost!" isn't the soundtrack to my Junior Year of highschool. I think my roommate is getting annoyed that I always have my weird "alternative" music playing at ungodly levels while I study, but I need noise to focus. Is that weird?

The artisits who write their own music just speak to me. Taylor Swift is literally my idol. She writes her own music, does what she wants, and isn't afraid to call a guy on his bull. Girl has some balls, and she means it when she says everyone should be Fearless. Actually, right now I have the faint marks of "Be Fearless" written on my left hand in eyeliner from a picture I left for Taylor yesterday. Attention Taylor Swift: Being Fearless is a hell of a lot easier said than done. That doesn't mean I'm not trying though. (Sidenote- I'm seriously reconsidering the tattoo I want, and might get "fearless" on my left wrist instead of "hope" on my foot. Thoughts?)

So basically, thank you Chris Martin/Taylor Swift for being the soundtrack to all the new things I'm learning at college. You're the people who help me study, and get through the Enlightenment, and Conquering Public Speaking. Your music speaks to me on a pretty deep level, and for that, I really am greatfull. Expect me to cry if I ever, by some miracle, get to meet either one of you.

I Miss You.

This blog is dedicated to the people/things I miss. After being at college for a week, coming home for one crazy weekend, and being back at college now, I feel pretty confident that I can clearly identify who and what I miss about them.  Nothing in here's going to be specific, only because of the off chance that someone actually reads this, and feels the need to tell the people I write about some of my feelings for them.  Either way, here goes nothing.

1. I miss when I could trust you.  I miss when things were easy.  I miss when we were happy.  I miss when we were young, and carefree, and hadn't hurt each other yet.  I miss you.

2. I miss being the most important person in your life.  Before him, I was.  And that sucks sometimes, but I've learned to settle for number two.   I miss being able to just show up at your house, but now we're at seperate places, so I can't do that anymore.  I'll always be here, and you'll always be my bestfriend, but that doesn't mean I don't miss you.

3. I miss when we didn't fight about stupid things, and when I knew I could trust you with everything.  Its not always like that anymore.

4.  I miss when we were Just Friends, and when we didn't have a semi-history.  I miss the days before you asked me that question, and before I said no, because it hasn't been the same since then.  I miss being able to rely on you for everything, and trusting you to give me an honest answer, and honest advice.  I miss the days when you were my bestfriend.

5.  I miss the times when the toughest thing for us to handle was finding a ride to wherever, and not our realationship problems.  I miss just calling you, and coming over to your house, and knowing that I could relax, and have a good time.  I miss the days where I knew your secrets, and you knew mine, but things in between that rarley interlocked, because it's gotten a lot more complicated since then.

6.  I miss being able to just tell all of you this stuff, without wanting to cry, and without being scared of what you would say.  I miss the days before everything changed.

This was all way too personal.  I don't care. 

It's not like anyone reads this.

Decisons, Decisons

Do you know what I hate? Like, really, truly, 100% despise:

Making a big decison.  Nothing is worse in my mind, than having to choose between two things, and stick with it.  I'm always so afraid of choosing the wrong thing, and forever screwing myself over.  It sucks.

When an oppourtunity for happiness is presented to you, but you can't take it: that sucks.  When you can't trust someone after everything thats happened: that sucks.  When you care about someone, but can't handle that anymore: that sucks.

Everything sucks sometimes. 

It's time to get back to college.

"Every time I hear that song, I go back"

The power of a song to take you, as Kenny Chesney so beautifully put it, "to another place and time" will never cease to amaze me.  Everytime I hear a song from around this time last year, I think of him, and how badly I wanted things to work out, and for my friends to be wrong.  (Sidenote- They weren't)  This weekend last year, I went on a mini-golfing date, after being truly, 100% happy to tell my bestfriends about everything that had been said.  It was all lies.  But I learned my lesson there.  "If you have to ask, you already know".  I really do believe that now.

But back to the songs bringing me back.  Everyone has a song that reminds them of a certain person, or a certain time.  Rockstar 101 will forever remind me of jamming out the last two weeks of summer with Taylor, being loners because everyone abandoned us.  Beamer, Benz, or Bentley and Rude Boy will always remind me of Daytona Beach Spring Break 2010, and how it was easily the best week of my life. Pocketfull of Sunshine takes me back to the summer before Junior year, and how for a short time, everything was perfect. Lauren and me have so many songs together, I made her a CD dedicated to just the last four years for her eighteenth birthday.  It was hard to make cuts.  And Rascall Flatts will always remind me of Lauren Blouin.  She loves them, I love her, its easy to fill in the blanks. 

But those are the easy songs to remember.  Its the hard ones that suck. Allison can't even hear the opening beat of "I Got  a Feeling" because its the curse song. I'm convinced now too.  I can't listen to the cheesy, stupid, inane "He Could Be The One" because that was the night of the kitty cat under my foot, and the night the secrets finally came out.  I struggle listening to "I'd Lie" because it was the song associated with a single person for so long, that once they let me down, I couldn't love it anymore.  And "Say Something", while still a Luminia favorite jam, will always be directed at one person, and my wishing we could just talk about everything that happened, and move on to way less awkward times. 

Music is powerfull.  And well sometimes it sucks to have a song ruined for you, its nice to have such good memories with songs too.  When they make me a life video, I would want both in there, because life definitley has the good and bad times. 

Hi, I've been gone eight days, do you miss me yet?

Well I'm home for the weekend from college. Already.

I moved in...eight days ago. I don't think my family missed me yet.

But I missed them.  So they better pretend to be happy to see me atleast.

Loras is everything I wanted it to be...but part of me misses/loves being home.

I'm clearly a freak.  Everyone I know dreads coming home for the weekend, I was so excited that on the way here, I kept on yelling out hi to the random things I recognized.

Like I said, I'm a freak. 

I'm pretty sure no one at college will ever understand my love for old movies, or be able to quote Coldplay songs like its their job as I do.  But I'm okay with that.

Basically, I'm weird. And a freak.  The End.